about-turn
Posted bywarm cheek, clumsy motions, sweaty palms
a dark sky wetted with wind
a trusted topsy-turvydom
tiding ebbing feelings
two pairs of two tens- a stumbling cry
the pouring pelts profile with disarrayed ebony
untangling alien fingers feeling face
a race of breaths, a pounding in the chest
a cherished seclusion-a possibility
a togetherness- but not too much
his penetrating eyes
her palpitating smile
inwardly hoping
appearance prohibiting
outwardly threatening-
essence hesitating
halfway about-turn
two windpipes choking
a heart seeking touch
a touch seeking heart
here modesty
there diffidence
and the moment is past
3 comments:
The Prelude might be boring but the images in your poem are quite striking, particularly the ending. In the middle it does tend to lag a bit, but it picks up soon, and leads up to a climax of something cherished and lost. The last line about the ephemeral nature of pleasure reminds one of Andrew Marvell and his pleas to his coy mistress. Also, the images in the beginning make the poem very impressionistic.
Thanks lalit for ur perceptive comments...
This is an attempt at freeing myself from my monotonous rhyming scheme that apparently i cant do without and changing my approach to poetry-writing as such..
PS: i love Marvell's 'To His Coy Mistress' a lot...
very nice.. u have beautifully captured the essence of the palpitating heart at the sight or the mere thought of someone special.. i loved it. keep it up!
Post a Comment