Of Mice and Men, and Unspeakable Regrets

Posted by Hina


He stopped and sniffed the air, and still sniffing, looked down at the old dog. "God awmighty, that dog stinks. Get him outa here, Candy! I don't know nothing that stinks as bad as an old dog. You gotta get him out. " Candy rolled to the edge of his bunk. He reached over and patted the ancient dog, and he apologized, "I been around him so much I never notice how he stinks."
"Well, I can't stand him in here," said Carlson. "That stink hangs around even after he's gone. " He walked over with his heavy- legged stride and looked down at the dog. "Got no teeth, " he said. "He's all stiff with rheumatism. He ain't no good to you, Candy. An' he ain't no good to himself. Why'n't you shoot him, Candy?" The old man squirmed uncomfortably. "Well-hell! I had him so long. Had him since he was a pup. I herded sheep with him. " He said proudly, "You wouldn't think it to look at him now, but he was the best damn sheep dog I ever seen. " George said, "I seen a guy in Weed that had an Airedale could herd sheep. Learned it from the other dogs. " Carlson was not to be put off. "Look, Candy. This of dog jus' suffers hisself all the time. If you was to take him out and shoot him right in the back of the head-" he leaned over and pointed, "- right there, why he'd never know what hit him. " Candy looked about unhappily. "No, " he said softly. "No, I couldn't do that. I had 'im too long. "
"He don't have no fun, " Carlson insisted. "And he stinks to beat hell. Tell you what. I'll shoot him for you. Then it won't be you that does it. " Candy threw his legs off his bunk. He scratched the white stubble whiskers on his check nervously. "I'm so used to him, " he said softly. "I had him from a pup. "
"Well, you ain't bein' kind to him keepin' him alive, " said Carlson. "Look, Slim's bitch got a litter right now. I bet Slim would give you one of them pnps to raise up, wouldn't you, Slim?" The skinner had been studying the old dog with his calm eyes. "Yeah, " he said. "You can have a pup if you want to. " He seemed to shake himself free for speech. "Carl's right, Candy. That dog ain't no good to himself. I wisht somebody'd shoot me if I get old an' a cripple. "
Candy looked helplessly at him, for Slim's opinions were law. "Maybe it'd hurt him, " he suggested. "I don't mind takin' care of him. " Carlson said, "The way I'd shoot him, he wouldn't feel nothing. I'd put the gun right there. " He pointed with his toe. "Right back of the head. He wouldn't even quiver. " Candy looked for help from face to face.
It was quite dark outside by now. A young laboring man came in. His sloping shoulders were bent forward and he walked heavily on his heels, as though he carried the invisible grain bag. He went to his bunk and put his hat on his shelf. Then he picked up a pulp magazine from his shelf and brought it to the light over the table. "Did I show you this, Slim?" he asked. "Show me what?" The young man turned to the back of the magazine, put it down on the table and pointed with his finger. "Right there, read that. " Slim bent over it. "Go on, " said the young. During the conversation Carlson had refused to be drawn in. He continued to look down at the old dog. Candy watched him uneasily. At last Carlson said, "if you want me to, I'll put the old devil out of his misery right now and get it over with. Ain't nothing left for him. Can't eat, can't see, can't even walk without hurtin'. " Candy said hopefully, "You ain't got no gun. " "The hell I ain't. Got a Luger. It won't hurt him none at all. " Candy said, "Maybe tomorra. Le's wait till tomorra. " "I don't see no reason for it, " said Carlson. He went to his bunk, pulled his bag from underneath it and took out a Luger pistol. "Le's get it over with, " he said. "We can't sleep with him stinkin' around in here. "
He put the pistol in his hip pocket. Candy looked a long time at Slim to try to find some reversal. And Slim gave him none. At last Candy said softly and hopelessly, "Awright--take 'im. " He did not look down at the dog at all. He lay back on his bunk and crossed his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling. From his pocket Carlson took a little leather thong. He stooped over and tied it around the old dog's neck. All the men except Candy watched him. "Come boy. Come on, boy, " he said gently. And he said apologetically to Candy, "He won't even feel it. "
Candy did not move nor answer him. He twitched the thong. George chuckled, "I bet Lennie's right out there in the barn with his pup. He won't want to come in here no more now he's got a pup. " Slim said, "Candy, you can have any one of them pups you want. " Candy did not answer. The silence fell on the room again. It came out of the night and invaded the room….
A minute passed, and another minute. Candy lay still, staring at the ceiling. Slim gazed at him for a moment and then looked down at his hands; he subdued one hand with the other, and held it down…
The silence was in the room again. A shot sounded in the distance. The men looked quickly at the old man. Every head turned toward him. For a moment he continued to stare at the ceiling. Then he rolled slowly over and faced the wall and lay silent.

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Voices were approaching from outside. George said quickly, "Don't tell nobody about it. Jus' us three an' nobody else. They li'ble to can us so we can't make no stake. Jus' go on like we was gonna buck barley the rest of our lives, then all of a sudden some day we'll go get our pay an' scram outa here. "
Lennie and Candy nodded, and they were grinning with delight. "Don't tell nobody, " Lennie said to himself. Candy said, "George. " "Huh?" "I ought to of shot that dog myself, George. I shouldn't ought to of let no stranger shoot my dog. "

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